Call to Battle

How does one keep getting back up? Bruised, battered, and broken I slowly stagger back to my feet. I don't know how much farther I can sustain this, how much farther I can press on through this continual beating. Even the strongest men eventually fall, the strongest hearts eventually break, the strongest souls eventually falter. My strength is quickly fading, and the battle is getting more intense, the storm more fierce. The storm raging within my heart grows stronger by the day. I cry out to God daily to lift this burden, to take this weight off my shoulders. But the thunder rolls on, the storm continues. The crushing winds knock trees down into my path. The load on my back gets even heavier as if each body bag returning goes straight into my rucksack. I keep asking God, "Why? Why do my friends, brothers in arms, comrades, keep going back when I'm not allowed to go with them? Please God send me to battle, allow me to serve my God and my country the way I know best. You gave me a second chance at life, please God grant me this one request, this one plea. Don't let your servant falter under this type of burden. Allow me to go and finally shed this burden like a heavy ruck at the end of a long march. I'm merely a broken man, a shell of the man I once was. But I just ask that you give your servant this one request; this prayer for battle so I may finally shed this burden." I don't know where else to turn at this point. I just hope and pray with what little strength I have left that God will send me there. No, I'm not crazy, at least I don't think I am; I just feel the burden of having "served" but never truly served this country that's been so blessed by God over the years. Here I am, I am willing and able, please send me...